


It's Time To Duel!

by MysticDodo



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Atemu doesn't know what to do, Card Games, Crack, Darkside of Dimensions, Kaibai hasn't had enough, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Parody, Prideshipping, Puzzleshipping, Spoilers, YGO;TAS references, Yuugi has had enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 15:17:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9554705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticDodo/pseuds/MysticDodo
Summary: Everyone: "Kaiba, no!"Kaiba: "Kaiba, yes!"Kaiba does NOT have an obsession with Atemu. Not one bit.(HEAVY SPOILERS for DSoD).





	

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to have some fun writing again and this little fella came pouring out!
> 
> This is complete and utter crack and loosely based on the plot of Darkside of Dimensions. I've (unfortunately) only seen it the once so I'm sorry for any weird mistakes. 
> 
> Also, I like Diva aka Aigami as a character. I just didn't know what to do with him...

“- and then, I will hire the best of the best to exhume the grave where the Millenium Items fell and bring the Pharaoh back to life!”

Mokuba blinked at his older brother. “Erm, don’t you think bringing someone back from the dead just to duel them is a little bit extreme, Seto?”

Kaiba looked shocked that anybody would ask him such a thing. “We never got to duel! This is my life we’re talking about, Mokuba. I need to duel him!”

Mokuka shook his head. “Fine, I’ll start researching for some desperate archaeologists.”

“You get me, Mokuba.”

__

“Sir, you’ve invested thousands of your savings onto this and we haven’t found a single thing. Are you sure that this is the tomb?”

Kaiba’s eyes flashed angrily. “You dare question me?! I know it is this tomb, I can feel it in my bones! Those doors are the ones the Pharaoh passed through to get away from the fact that I can and will defeat him in duel monsters! Yuugi went too easy on him, whereas I, the great Seto Kaiba, will go at him hard and with all of my power, no holding back! I will destroy him and all that he stands for, wreck him, make him explode, dominate him with my very presence-”

Kaiba’s body guard looked over at the dumbfounded other members of staff. “Obsessed much?” he mouthed as Kaiba continued to rant and rave. They shrugged and went back to work. They were getting paid lots of money. So what of the mental sanity of the person paying them?

__

“Hey, Yuug, have you heard Kaiba’s built a space station in order to work on his next stage of virtual reality for duel monsters?” 

Yuugi looked up from his deck of cards with a frown. “Are you serious, Jounouchi? That seems a bit over the top, doesn’t it?”

“Are you kidding me?! It’s the best, it’s amazing! Can you image our trusted pals and partners come to life with us when we duel with them?” Jounouchi was standing tall, pumped and shimmering with excitement. “Oh ho, in just a few short months duel monsters has come a long way! Wonder what’s come into Kaiba? Not that I’m complaining of course… expect for maybe the price.”

Yuugi rolled his eyes fondly and returned to thumbing through his trusted cards. What came into Kaiba? He never beat Atemu. Losing in a make believe, game changing duel with the greatest rival anybody could have could do things to someone… especially if their name was Seto Kaiba. 

__

“Hey, Yuugi?” Anzu whispered. “Have you noticed that someone is taking photos of you over there?”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Yuugi responded in an equally low voice. “If I’m not mistaken a few members of Kaiba Corp have been…. Observing me, for the last few days, for lack of a better word.”

“You’re not going to do anything about it?”

“Kaiba is off his rocker,” Yuugi replied bluntly. “Do you want to tell him to stop doing something and face his wrath?”

“Eh, not really.”

“So long as no photos of me appear in the internet, badly photo shopped into some sort pose which suggests I’m lower than the dirt on his shoes, I think we’ll be okay. No, no, don’t look at them, if it gets back to Kaiba it will no doubt encourage him!”

__

“Yuugi? Could you come here for a second?” Sugoroku called up the stairs. When Yuugi came down, his grandfather was holding what appeared to be a photograph. “Somebody dropped this off. Do you have a stalker, Yuugi? Do I need to be alarmed?”

Taking the photo, Yuugi saw quite a detailed close up of his rather unique hair style. He turned it over and tried not to snort at the words written on the back. 

Animating hair is hard enough. Trying to bring your hair (or at least something similar) to life is nearly impossible. Good lighting though, right? M. K.

__

 

Standing in the pouring rain in the middle of the road, Yuugi found himself dumbstruck as he stared at the one and only Seto Kaiba. Even with his recent growth spurt the rich boy still seemed unreasonably tall. He was saying something in his overly dramatic and pompous way. 

“Wait,” Yuugi interrupted. “You spent loads of money to create a fake reality where you defeated the Pharaoh - and admitted that the longest part was getting his ‘perfectly coiffed hair’ correct - then went to Egypt and created an all new security system to get the Millenium Puzzle? That’s what you’ve been doing these last few months?”

“You make it sound like I am insane, Yuugi. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing if you were in my position! And, at last, I am one step closer to finally beating my rival. You’re not the Pharaoh, Yuugi. You can’t satisfy me in the way that Atemu can! I will defeat you, gain your puzzle piece and bring the Pharaoh back! Muwahahaha!”

“… you desecrated a grave for that?”

“NOTHING WILL STOP ME! Don’t be jealous that I thought of the idea before you!”

__

Yuugi was standing on the stage, a headset around his head. He was truly lost for words. Thousands of eyes were staring up at the three competitors - himself, Kaiba and Diva - and most were probably wondering what the fuck Kaiba was talking about. Puzzle. Pharaoh. Duel. Resurrection. 

Then Diva was butting in with his own words; something about a Plana and dimensions and Shin and, was that world devastation should the Pharaoh come back? Or something? 

After mindless banter for goodness knows how many minutes, Yuugi finally found the words that were stuck at the back of his throat. 

“Mokuba!” His deeper voice rang out across the stadium. The younger brother waved at Yuugi. “Can you tell me exactly when Kaiba lost his marbles?”

“A few months ago when he found out about that Ceremonial Duel!” Mokuba called back helpfully. “Started muttering in his sleep and everything.”

“Have you gotten any help for him? I mean, his levels of obsession are beyond extreme…”

“Obsession?! I do not obsess! I am Seto Kaiba, multi millionaire with the mind to advance technology beyond your wildest imaginations! Obsession isn’t in my vocabulary!”

“Technology will never beat magic!” Diva butted in. “The Plana -”

“Yes, yes, you’re both pretty,” Yuugi interrupted. “Mokuba, I would seriously get your brother checked out by a psychologist or something. I mean, I loved Atemu but I wouldn’t root around his tomb for-”

“You loved the Pharaoh?! Ahaha, it all makes sense now! He was always so soft on you, and you on him!” Kaiba screamed out gleefully. “And you have the audacity to stand there and be displeased that I’m going to bring him back? You know you want to see him, though not as much as I do! Give me the puzzle piece and we shall behold the glory that is the Nameless Pharaoh!” Kaiba rubbed his hands together eagerly. 

“THE PHARAOH’S RETURN WILL RESULT IN THE PLANA-”

“Blah blah blah,” Yuugi cut in again, hand over his ears. “Diva, nobody cares about what you have to say, shut up. As for you, Kaiba, you’re bloody insane.”

“Insanity for wanting to win?!”

“You basically went grave robbing!” Yuugi slapped a hand to his forehead. “You want to bring back somebody who was alive in ancient Egypt just to beat him in a children’s card game! That is madness. Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?!”

“This is more than a children’s card game! This is life!” Kaiba cackled. “Nobody can stop me, nobody! I have the money, screw the rules!”

“Ah, actually big brother, I needed to talk to you about that,” Mokuba broke in, looking sheepish. “You spent all of our money in the excavation… and the AI you created to rebuild the puzzle… and this whole virtual reality business so that you and Atemu could have the most epic, memorable duel of all time.” He shrugged when Kaiba stared at him in shock. “Sorry.”

__

“I TOLD YOU HE WOULD COME BACK. I TOLD YOU I WOULD RESURRECT HIM!” Kaiba shouted. “I told you so! I told you so, Yuugi Mutou! You may have loved him but you gave up, where I, the brilliant Seto Kaiba, didn’t! And I still didn’t get to duel him! Damn you, Yuugi! Damn you, Pharaoh! Damn it al-” a dart implanted itself into the side of Kaiba’s neck and the brown haired genius collapsed face first onto the ground with a painful sounding thud.

Seto’s main body guard lowered the tranquilizer dart. “Apologies, gentlemen, but he’s been rambling nonstop about this Pharaoh for months. We should have realised that his brilliance was a manifestation of his illness. Young Master Mokuba has authorised that we begin to sell off the small businesses that Kaiba Corp invaded to pay for Master Kaiba’s treatment. We will make sure he doesn’t bother any of you again.”

Even in his unconscious state, Kaiba was muttering “Pharaoh! Duel! Egyptian God Cards! Victory!”.

_

A few weeks later, Yuugi’s mobile phone buzzed with an unknown number. He answered it. “Hello?”

“You thought I was crazy, Yuugi, and you wouldn’t bring the Pharaoh to me! Well, now I will go to him! We will see who has the last laugh! I will win!”

Maniacal laughter came down the line and Yuugi held it away from his ear. What the…?

“Yuugi! The small Kaiba child is here!” his grandfather shouted from somewhere on the shop floor. “He needs to speak to you urgently, something about the dark side of dimensions and being in charge?”

Mokuba looked flustered and frustrated. “Big brother escaped and flew up to his space station. He left a note saying that he was going to use that cube thing the other guy (Diva?) was using to go back in time to have his duel with the Pharaoh.”

Yuugi groaned. “That man is obsessed. It isn’t even funny anymore!”

__

Meanwhile, in the afterlife of Ancient Egypt, a young Pharaoh was thinking about how he missed the taste of pizza when a horribly familiar drawl interrupted his thoughts. 

“Pharaoh! It’s time to duel!”

“Kaiba?” Atemu said, squinting at the very much out of place figure. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Duel me!”

“You aren’t dead so it can’t be that…”

“Duel me!!”

“Maybe I’m dreaming….?”

“DUEL ME!!!”

Atemu stood in frozen shock for a few moments before one of his protectors clipped Kaiba on the back of the head. The CEO collapsed. Standing over his body, Atemu rubbed the back of his neck. It was a habit he picked up from Yuugi. “Man, this guy won’t even let me rest in peace. Now what should I do?”

**Author's Note:**

> In all serious, though, obsessive behaviour can be a sign of problematic thoughts. Did you know there is a thing called "Celebrity Worship Syndrome"? It's when somebody becomes obsessive of (and addicted about) a celebrity.


End file.
